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What do you do when you try to help—but you make it worse?
Posted: Sunday, August 4, 2019

photoThe day was a busy one. Family circumstances had me on the move. Arriving home, the last thing I needed was to find an Amazon truck parked in my space. I parked in front of the van, pinning it in and turned my car off to wait for the driver. Here he comes.

“You can’t park here,” I explained. “We pay for these spots, they’re private,” I pointed to the red-curb “no-parking” area next to us. “Park there when you deliver here, just leave your flashers on,” I said, quoting our parking policy for deliveries. The driver was irritated with me and my instructions. Despite my efforts to be calm and helpful, I made him mad.

“I’m only here one-minute, okay—one-minute,” he said.

“Yes, I understand. But you need to park by the red curbs where it says ‘no parking.’ Just keep your flashers going. That’s the rule here.”

“I only park one-minute!”

“You can park several minutes,” I said, “But not in someone’s spot. Over there,” I pointed again. His English wasn’t bad, but it was not his first language. That and our frustration were botching hopes for a fast truce.

I moved my car so he could vacate my spot, but instead of moving into the red zone right in front of him, he drove 50-feet up the row and pulled into another resident’s parking space. I decided to try cracking the language barrier one more time. “You can’t park here either,” I said, still trying to be calm.

“Only One-minute,” he said again.

“Right there,” I said pointing directly to the red curb behind us. “You can park right there if your flashers are on. Do you understand? It’s easier for you.”

Well, I failed. The driver just got madder, threw his packages back in the van and left the parking lot. Emotions churned. Amazon employees, I know, are paid low wages for hard work in poor conditions. Bathroom breaks are timed, for Pete’s sake. And this driver only wanted to get his boxes delivered. For whatever reason, I failed to help him see that if he followed our rules, parking would be easier, and residents wouldn’t bother him! Was this my fault? Probably at least 50%, yes. Was I frowning unintentionally? Was my tone of voice angry instead of helpful? My day was challenging, but maybe the driver’s day was even tougher. And then I came along.

All I could do was hurry home and resume my family’s work. With the pressure on, I turned the corner to my front door and came to a hard stop. An Amazon package was lying there on our welcome mat waiting for me to pick it up.


Photo: The train station tower rises above our parking lot. The clock is mostly true.